Toppik Fibers
Toppik is a beauty product designed to disguise thinning hair and conceal regrowth between hair coloring. It consists of tiny fibers, available in nine hair color shades, to be shaken out of a dispenser like powdered sugar. They stick to the scalp to hide thin spots or cover roots.
In this spec home page, I rewrote the above-the-fold copy to better reflect the voice of the customer. Read on to see how.
Toppik Home Page
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Before
This copy is fine, if you’re already familiar with the brand. But if you don’t know that Toppik is a cosmetic hair product, this beautiful model could be advertising toothpaste or makeup—and the headline could describe any of those products. At first glance, the viewer doesn’t know if they should conceal, enhance, and perfect their teeth, their complexion, or their eyebrows.
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After
In reading reviews for Toppik Fibers, I found over and over that customers were no longer self-conscious and were finally free to show their hair after moderate hair loss. I used the headline to announce that this is a hair product meant to return the fullness they used to have. We know who you used to be, and you can be that person again, it suggests.
The users also expressed relief that they no longer had to style their hair around areas of embarrassing hair loss or gray regrowth. They were free to wear whatever style they wanted, and the copy now expresses that.
In the last line, I purposely used the word “comeback” to remind the customers, who are as likely to be men as women, that this product isn’t an enhancement or mere cosmetic. It’s restoring them to their former, younger, more attractive selves.